FLAGS
Rep. Virgil H. Goode, Jr.
US House of Representatives
Dear Rep. Goode,
I applaud your recent statement condemning those who wave Mexican flags at immigrant human rights rallies, but I worry that such comments might come back to haunt you. How will you respond when some French-loving traitor asks you why you don't also condemn our Confederate patriots who proudly wave the Stars and Bars at rallies and parades? You can't just simply say that it's OK because they're white--not in public, anyway.
Let's think about this for a minute. On the one hand, we have a flag belonging to a country we invaded because they stood between us and Manifest Destiny. We were the victors in that war and took most of what is now the Western United States as our prize.
On the other hand, we have a flag flown by those who wished to tear the United States apart. Although it represents all that Godly men like you and me revere, it is symbolic of treachery and racism to most everyone else.
I don't think we have a winning argument there. Let's look at it another way.
What do The Mexican War and The War of Northern Aggression have in common? Do you remember your history? The answer is that Abraham Lincoln was on the wrong side of both. In the decade before he waged war on our beloved Confederacy, he spoke out against the Mexican War. Indeed, he was that era's Michael Moore. He believed it was an unnecessary war based on lies and fought solely for corporate gain.
I think that's our hook. You've attacked Lincoln in the past, so using that old emancipating tyrant to tar both Confederate flag haters and Mexican flag wavers makes perfect sense.
US House of Representatives
Dear Rep. Goode,
I applaud your recent statement condemning those who wave Mexican flags at immigrant human rights rallies, but I worry that such comments might come back to haunt you. How will you respond when some French-loving traitor asks you why you don't also condemn our Confederate patriots who proudly wave the Stars and Bars at rallies and parades? You can't just simply say that it's OK because they're white--not in public, anyway.
Let's think about this for a minute. On the one hand, we have a flag belonging to a country we invaded because they stood between us and Manifest Destiny. We were the victors in that war and took most of what is now the Western United States as our prize.
On the other hand, we have a flag flown by those who wished to tear the United States apart. Although it represents all that Godly men like you and me revere, it is symbolic of treachery and racism to most everyone else.
I don't think we have a winning argument there. Let's look at it another way.
What do The Mexican War and The War of Northern Aggression have in common? Do you remember your history? The answer is that Abraham Lincoln was on the wrong side of both. In the decade before he waged war on our beloved Confederacy, he spoke out against the Mexican War. Indeed, he was that era's Michael Moore. He believed it was an unnecessary war based on lies and fought solely for corporate gain.
I think that's our hook. You've attacked Lincoln in the past, so using that old emancipating tyrant to tar both Confederate flag haters and Mexican flag wavers makes perfect sense.
posted by Name Held by Request | 9:39 AM
5 Comments:
Waving the Mexican flag is an insult to the early 1980s punk rock band Black Flag, and the people that defend Alamo Rent-a-Car.
I say we just grab a coupla spare batallions of Nat. Guard and go down there and take that country right proper, sir. Then they'd know which flag to wave around, sir.
There's plenty of them brown people down there and we could put 'em all to work makin' bombs and body armor and stuff for the troops in the Middle East. They work for peanuts, sir. I've seen 'em.
Then we could stop worrin' about immigration and such, and besides, it'd make one hell of a good stagin' area for goin' in to whatever lame ass little country is the other side of it. What do ya think, sir?
What good's havin' an army if any of 'em are just sittin' around in our own country collectin' a check? Bein' the world's only superpower there's plenty of subjugatin' to do, and we best get to it.
Besides, sir, those Chinamen must be gettin' pretty darn tired of printin' up all them different flags. It's inefficient as hell is what it is, all that ink and all. And we sure hate inefficiency. Business is business, sir. I say we owe it to the world to solve that little problem once and for all. And them Chinamen would thank us for it, sir. I believe they would.
This is all kinda complimacated for a simple cun'ry boy like me. I dun even 'member who this heya Licoln fella is, no how.
Can we jus' blame Clinton?
I appreciate your comments and thoughts. Without you it would be a world without you. I have a wee suggestion to help appease the Ownership Society (those damn northeners shot the old Ownership Society full of holes): when owned brown people take their breaks during their jobs (jobs that they have stolen from white people who would be doing those jobs if good drugs weren't so readily available) have the break-takers sit in a cordoned-off area (huddled together, for effect, but don't ventilate--they'll sense their owner's weakness and start asking for bottled agua as sure as frijoles), with cameras keeping an eye on them, to make sure they don't try and exploit our society. Give these bastards ten minutes and they might organize or plot or engage in acts of conspirioso, if you comprende mi driftay.
Also, we really should implant microchips in these people, which will force employers to play fair when "Worker Swapping" and when they auction off some of the plumper ones. Put the fire to the employers feet, and bring the tamales, says I.
Lastly, we should all ask ourselves WWLDD? Well, what would Lou Dobbs do? He'll tell you flat out what he'd do about the The Brown Scare. I look forward to the day when the only Brown Scare I have is in my briefs, where it belongs.
Well, I got to go outside now and avoid eye contact with the guy who mows my wife.
Is there any chance that all those sortabrownfolks you saw in that march might really be, gulp, Canuckistanis with tans? or, worse yet, eskiterrarists. The problem with the damned Eternal War on the Resubugation of Sortabrownfolks is that there are so damned many varieties and they run the gamut of the spectrum from toasted vanilla to obsidian (there's one standing right beside me, here on the train--fortunately that sort can't read Merkin so I'm safe). Anyway, what I want to know is how much longer to we have to wait before Pretendsident Meatpuppet or his handler decide to dust off the Alien & Sedition Acts? I see the Justaminutehoneymen are mounting each othe---, I mean mounting new offenses in the contested border areas between us and old Meh-Hee-Ko. Not that I would want anything bad to happen to anybody but I wonder if those boys would like a chance to take on some real messican bandidos runnin' brown sugar up from wherever.
Um, sir--I gotta move along, that sortabrown feller just looked at me and said that he parsed what I was writin' and well, he's got a big grin but I don't think it's a portent of a good time--knowudimean?
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