AND THEN JESUS SAID "MY BAD"

Jesus Christ, eponymous leader of every single Christian denomination ever, has officially apologized for having been crucified by the Romans some two thousand years ago. “Next time I will be more careful,” said Jesus, while answering questions on his way to a new Universe that Jesus claims has a better sense of humor and “…none of those ‘compact’ parking lots, where you can barely open your door without hitting the car next to you. It’s like we’re all sardines or something. Well, not literal sardines. Metaphorical sardines. Whatever.”

No athiests were harmed in the making of this post.